


日没 (Nichibotsu)

by ofreverentia



Series: 15 Days Challenges [3]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 15DaysChallenge, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Melancholy, Not Beta Read, Reflection, Self-Reflection, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: As Shoma sits in the garden - careful of staying in the shadows - of his parents home and watches as the sun turns shade of pink, orange, yellow with a hin to purple at the edges, he recalls several memories of the past year. Some of them are good, not all of them because he still had to find a way to learn to be confident in his mistakes, not to beat himself down when a performance was not perfect.





	日没 (Nichibotsu)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 日没 (Nichibotsu) = Sunset, Theme for the 15DaysChallenge
> 
>  
> 
> Yes, I am alive if anybody cares. No, I did not stop writing, just have been having a rough month.

As Shoma sits in the garden - careful of staying in the shadows - of his parents home and watches as the sun turns shade of pink, orange, yellow with a hin to purple at the edges, he recalls several memories of the past year. Some of them are good, not all of them because he still had to find a way to learn to be confident in his mistakes, not to beat himself down when a performance was not perfect. If someone would ask him he would still say he did not have a good season, his achievements there but his mind lingering on the mistakes, injury and reckless behaviour at the end. The disappointment of not being on the podium at Worlds in his home country, leaving the burden to Yuzuru who himself was not in a good state. He lets out a sigh, running a hand through his growing hair, noting that he may need a trim one of these days.

 

Shoma watches the skyline, looking at each color and putting them to a memory.

 

The orange reminds him of the bright color of the Pyeongchang winter jackets, how it felt way too big and heavy on him for more than one reason than the obvious one, as he stepped on the podium to receive his silver medal.

 

Gold, reminds him of the color of the medal hanging around Yuzurus gorgeous neck, the few he managed to fight for over the season but for some reason the Olympic medal of the other is the most truest gold he himself is now aiming for in Beijing. He will get there, he will work hard, fight tooth and nail to get his own Olympic gold. He may have sad a year ago that he did not care about the Olympics as it didn’t feel like any other competitions. Now after the days that passed following the event, he knows he was wrong. It is a big competition, it is something that you either conquer or let it eat you alive. Shoma believes he is somewhere in between. Yuzuru told him before one of the dozen of interviews they had to do.

 

_ “One day, you will realize Sho, that this event held a lot of meaning. People won’t take it lightly. You did well, you fought well but this achievements also means the people will expect similar results from you in the future. I know you can do it, you are strong, you have the skills...One day, you will see what everyone was talking about.” _

 

Shoma now understood with a new found clarify and he regretting of not having seen it before it was too late and his concentration was disturbed by the noise of expectations coming from all directions. Shaking his head he searched the sky for answers to questions he feared to find, eyes stopping at the different shades of pink.

 

Soft and dark pink lingered at the edges, reminding him cherry blossoms and a certain shade of someones costume. Shoma forgot the moment he (and countless fans) started associating cherry blossoms with the exhibition program of Yuzuru. It made sense as the song spoke of the arrival of Spring, which in Japan always made the streets be covered in pink petals for weeks. He enjoyed Spring, it was the time of year where the biting cold finally left, the trees started to turn green. There was a single cherry tree in their garden too, which started blooming the same week as Worlds. Shoma remembered seeing the first buds of flowers on the branches before he got into a taxi to take him to the train station. The theme for the whole arena was “Spring” too and the Kiss and Cry was beautiful. He had to admit the organisers actually have done a good job, even the previous references at Nationals could be seen. Prior the branches were bare with a few lights, working as frost or the buds of flowers and now come Worlds, they were blooming all around them. 

 

Shoma liked it, he would have also loved seeing Yuzuru sitting there in his costume, preparing for an encore only the champions were permitted. The older would have deserved it, the fight he showed after his short, how the crowd and so many skaters alike were mesmerized by his strength. Shoma felt the anger bubble up inside his chest all over again. His own failure felt bitter on his tongue but he felt pure rage when he recalled how Yuzuru had to listen to the anthem of someone else playing in his home country instead of him. Shoma has failed but Yuzuru got betrayed, robbed blind of scores he would have deserved. But this has been a recurring theme over the season, the way the skaters of certain federations got pushed even if their skill was nowhere near those who should have been on top. For a split second he recalled the words of Javier at Pyeongchang right before the ceremony. He felt tired, exhausted and the embrace of the two with him felt warm and relaxing. The words on the other hand, they spoke of finality. 

 

Shoma knew Javier did the right thing, given his struggle at Europeans where he was robbed of scores of his beloved Salchow. Even he had to admit that it was beautiful and he could understand why Yuzuru never stopped talking about, decided to change his entry to the jump to honor Javier in this season. Maybe he should have done the same thing like Javier, take his silver and stop competing but there was so much more in him to give, to fight for. Yuzuru continued as well even with his injury, the looming question of how long he will be able to compete before his body gives out under him. Shoma owed the older to continue skating, to be a pillar he can rely on when his body betrays him. He has to fight for Japan, Shoma knows but he is also exhausted. Brushing a few strands of hair out of his eyes, he returns to his original thought of pinks and crystals, frills and a beautiful mop of dark hair gliding across the eyes like a fairy bringing the start of a happier time. He remembers watching from the sidelines and if a few tears escaped his eyes, which he hastily had to wipe away nobody would really know; after all, all eyes for on the figure on the ice not giving him a second of attention.

 

He had found Yuzuru after his performance and before they all had to go on ice for the finale, a few seconds just standing close to each other, pinky fingers linked between their bodies, hidden away in the darkness. Shoma felt happy in that moment, grateful that Yuzuru was there by his side. He painfully remembers all the months he has not seen the older, how much he had missed him and while they were both licking wounds after the competition the fact he could reach out and feel the warm skin of the other under his fingertips felt like he won a medal.

 

The younger also recalls how once all the media appearances were done, the two hid away for a few hours in Yuzurus hotel room, wrapped up in each others arms, kisses exchanged and tears brushed away from their cheeks. Shoma didn’t know when would be the next time he sees his boyfriend again but he tried to make the best out of the few hours they had.

 

Shoma spots a patch of purple next to the pink and it reminds him of all the bruises on his hips and thighs. Proof of his failure when it comes to jumps. He barely pops his jumps, he tends to fall and crash against the cold hard ice. His body would be covered in ugly bruises of different colors, yellows, blues and purples. Moving his hand he places it on top of his right hip, it still feels tender to the touch. The proof of his latest failure from that days morning practice. He sighs yet again, trying to divert his brain from all the painful memories but it is not working. They keep on coming back to him in vivid detail and it only stops when he feels the small bench dip with the weight of another person next to him.

 

Turning his head to the side he is met with the beautiful profile of his boyfriend, eyes widening and lips falling open in surprise. A strange noise escapes him which draws an amused smile from the older by his side.

 

“Itsuki told me that you have been staring way too much at the sky during sunset these days. He starts to believe you are going crazy.” Shoma groans at that, drawing a chuckle from Yuzuru. The older reaches over to take his left hand, placing it in his lap enclosed between his own. “I think it is something that brings back memories… I like to look at it too when a lot of things are running through my head. Orange for our ugly jackets at Pyeongchang…” Shoma let’s out another weird noise but it doesn’t stop Yuzuru from talking. “...yellow for all the gold medals we got and many more we will get in the future, pink for cherry blossoms as a symbol of better times to come… purple for bruises that show our hard work. They are pretty and meaningful colors. Don’t you think so?” Finally Yuzuru turns to look at Shoma and he breath catches in his throat. He is beautiful under the colors of the setting sun and he leans in to press a kiss to his plump lips both to confirm the other is there, and also to say thank you for him being there by his side. 

 

“Hi Sho.” Yuzuru smiles against his lips, one hand coming up to gently brush against his cheek, making Shoma shiver lightly and move closer.

 

“Hi Yuzu.” He breathes out before he feels those lips back on his own, kissing him in earnest and with a lingering layer of longing. Shoma wants to ask what Yuzuru is doing at his parents, how or why he is in Japan because he is not meant to be here for a few more days but as their lips keep on moving against each other he can’t care less. Instead he cares about how he tastes cherry blossoms on his tongue, with colors of the sunset dancing behind his closed eyelids.

 

Shoma learns to associate his sunsets now with Yuzuru too. He knows that the next time he will look out into the sky he will remember this exact moment and feel the heat blooming inside his chest.


End file.
